4D parenting is defined as “responsible parents bringing their children to responsible adulthood while maintaining a balance between authority and relationship.” It should be considered more a goal than a task.

This venture provides the best means of exemplifying the practical side of 4D Living. For the journey an amazingly simple time-tested benchmark is set forth for all of us:

The entire duty of both parents and children is wrapped up in this Fifth Commandment of the Decalogue. At first glance we think of it as being addressed to children. However, since the other nine commandments are directed to adults this one surely is, as well. Secondly, if children are to learn its mandate the parents or some knowledgeable adult must teach them. Thirdly, parents must set the example by honoring their own parents if they expect their children to learn. What our children observe with the eye gate will either confirm or disallow what they hear through the ear gate. Children are definitely better at seeing than hearing. Aren’t we all?

Do you see how this commandment can be an effectual facilitator for parents? When your child misbehaves and is old enough to reason (begins bugging you with Why? Why?) you should grasp the opportunity to share with that child God’s instruction in this Fifth Commandment. He or she has reached the point in life where you can begin the second phase of child rearing. Until now it has been mainly a matter of control, of total care. Suddenly the time has arrived to add the guidance factor!

Look your child in the eye and speak heart-to-heart. Then take the time to pray with him or her, humbly admitting you need the Lord’s wisdom to make right choices because you desire the best for your child; and so forth. Many parents pray and request prayer for their children. Praying with them is much more effective. It places both parent and child on the same level!

The Ten Commandments were inscribed on two stone tablets, five on each. The five on the First Tablet pertain to 4D reasoning; those on the Second to our subjective 3D reasoning powers. The latter is an innate ability, the former a gift we pass on to our children.

Remember the Fourth Dimension adds the height component to our 3D reasoning ability. Height is the vertical, upright perspective. You and I are upright beings because we were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26,27). Hence we also walk uprightly, or live a lie!

The commandments on the First Tablet concern objective relationships between God, parents and their offspring. Those on the Second Tablet deal with sibling and non-family relationships and are subjective in nature and abide on the horizontal plane.

The question arises, Why was the Fifth Commandment not on the Second Tablet? Because the relationship between parent and child continues in this upright dimension. For this very reason God made husband and wife to be one flesh (Genesis 2:21-24). They are one vertical with each other, not horizontal to one another that the vertical from God might be extended to their offspring. God has verified it so parents could experience firsthand the way of objective reasoning which, remember, is vertical, handed down, revelatory to the ear gate.

Another reason the Fifth Commandment is located on the First Tablet is the fact God made it the doorway to the outside world. The commandments on the First Tablet are vertical while those on the Second are horizontal with regard to relationships. When proper attention is given to our vertical relationships the horizontal ones will also be proper. Nevertheless we must recognize our reasoning powers tend to remain strongly in the realm of the subjective. Like children our argumentative powers tend to be in control, a no-no for parents! Giving our attention the Word of God and to prayer, resorting to the realm of Divine reasoning, serves to remind us the power of conviction is better than our powers of convincement.

The second part of our definition speaks of “maintaining a balance between authority and relationships” these are two principle categories of human interactions. Lack of meaningful relationships in the home leads to perversion. Lack of authority leads to rebellion. The father supplies the authority figure, the mother the relationship figure. Which means the father needs to learn relationships whereas the mother needs to learn the place of authority. By this learning process each is presenting the best possible example before the children.

Although my own parents did not profess to be Christians they carried out this process before my siblings and me in a most noble way. There was never an argument between them or an unkind word expressed to one another in our presence. Dad was king and Mom was queen. No doubt about it all through our childhood days! They possessed little of this world’s goods but they passed on a great legacy.

In the year 1991 I began working on a manuscript titled, “God’s Family Plan” and have reams of notes in my files. The above is the gist of Chapter One.